By Angie Hutschreider angieh@newstribune.com


A personality is as unique as the person it belongs to. Most can change their personality to adjust to situations, some however cannot.

“With dependent personality disorder their style sometimes cannot change in response to changing conditions,” Dr. Joseph McCormack, licensed psychologist with St. Mary's Health Psychology said. “They have a problem adjusting because of this difficulty in flexibility in their personality style.”

Though dependent personality disorder is hard to diagnose, it causes great levels of discomfort for the person suffering from it.

“Typically people with personality disorders have a long standing pattern of mal-adjustment or some kind of difficulty with some relationships or functioning in society,” McCormack said.

People with dependent personality disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions. They may have fears of separation and loss and may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship.

“They have the ability to make the decisions, they often do not have the self confidence or faith in themselves to make decisions,” he said. “They always desire approval from others and often seek reassurance from others that they are making the right decision.”

Those with the disorder not only cling to a person, but the companionship a relationship provides for them.

“Many times if a relationship ends, the person will immediately seek another relationship,” McCormack said.

They are so preoccupied with abandonment that they may stay in relationships that are unhappy or even abusive.

“They have a hard time setting and sticking to limits. They are so attuned to maintain the connection to the other person that they edit what they say,” McCormack said. “They alter their comments and are not truly themselves.”

Some will also change their views or not speak of their views on politics, religion and other controversial subjects.

“They do not want to create tension or lose a friendship or relationship so they will say nothing or pretend to agree,” McCormack said.

While some may describe a person with dependent personality disorder as being unable to complete tasks or as being like a person with an attention disorder, McCormack says they most likely agreed wanting to make someone happy. They may also agree to the project, then fear what the final result will be and what others will say.

“They take on tasks without thinking about what it means for them,” McCormack said. “It goes along with them doing what they think will make others happy.”

“To a person with dependent personality disorder the connection to another person is paramount,” he said.

Dependent personality disorder is hard to diagnose, and often presents itself in the form of depression or anxiety; or is a co-occurring disorder.

“There are subtle signs, most people do not come in searching for treatment of the disorder,” McCormack said. “It is through them telling me about their life that I begin to see patterns and discover the disorder.”

Through the anxiety and depression many feel and when combined with little to no self confidence, the need for others is intensified.

“It is about reassurance,” McCormack said. “When any relationship ends there is a sense of loss, a feeling of grief. For these people with dependent personality disorder it is an immense fear and very hard to handle.”

Although the exact cause of dependent personality disorder is not known, it most likely involves both biological and developmental factors. Some researchers believe an authoritarian or overprotective parenting style can lead to the development of dependent personality traits in people who are susceptible to the disorder.